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When I left my high control group, the last thing I wanted was
to spend six to eight months in recovery. I had already lost 2.5
years of my life and wanted to get "back on track" as
quickly as possible. At some level I saw needing counseling as a
sign of weakness.
I am very happy my relatives convinced me otherwise. MeadowHaven
was healing on many levels. The safe environment Bob and Judy foster
there, and MeadowHaven's emphasis on unstructured time, allowed
me to process the trauma I did experience in my group (my particular
group was abusive psychologically, spiritually, physically, and
sexually), and slowly to work through the emotions brought up in
the process; to mourn my losses; to reflect on what happened and
why; and to gain valuable perspective. The counseling helped facilitate
that reflection and processing. The program also offers a wealth
of information-about personality, boundaries, mind control, Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorder, the cult leader's psychoses, etc.-that gave me
new categories for understanding my experience. I learned a lot
about myself in the process, not only regarding my cult experience
but also my life as a whole. Being in an environment with other
ex-members of high control groups also helped me recognize that
my own experience is "okay" and normal. As I prepared
to leave, it was also very helpful to work on a satisfying answer
to the important question "why didn't I leave?"
Bob and Judy have thirteen years of experience working with
former members of high control groups, and they are sensitive and
knowledgeable counselors. Even though I went to WellSpring (another
post-cult counseling facility) for two weeks, MeadowHaven addresses
a totally different set of issues and gives you the time you need
to finish working through things.
I highly recommend MeadowHaven to anyone coming out of a high-control,
destructive religious group. It is a very healing experience no
matter where you are in your recovery process.
Andrew
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