Tales from an Abuser

By E.F. Winslow

We could tell by his expression that Chuck was going to have some words with Pastor. He had told me privately that he didn't like the way things were going, and was concerned with the way Pastor had treated some people. He had tried to discuss the issues once privately with the pastor, but to no avail.
There was definately some merit to what Chuck wanted to say. Although I didn't reallize it at the time, we had been chronically abusive to members and visitors. Since I was also a leader in the church, Chuck asked if I could go with him after the service as a witness, so that the discussion couldn't be distorted after the fact.
"Pastor, there is something we need to talk about" Chuck said as he approached.
Perceiving what could amount to a challenge to his authority, Pastor made a preemptive strike on Chuck, who was the head elder.
"You know Chuck, I've really been seeking God a lot lately about you" he began in a loud, low voice that would have been innapropriate for a private conversation. "You know, God's hand is all over this work of His, and we can't afford to have a 'root of bitterness' springing up here. And I believe that God showed me you have a spirit of murmuring and complaining."
Chuck was caught off guard by the accusation. "Well, Pastor, what I actually wanted to..."
"God has shown me a lot of things." the Pastor continued, without giving Chuck a chance to air the concern. "And right now He is showing me that we have to deal with this spirit as a body, so that there will be no division or factions in what He is doing". He signalled to a number of other men from other parts of the sanctuary to come over. About 10 young men gathered around Chuck and himself.
"Brothers, since you all have 'eyes to see' and have discernment, I am sure it has not escaped your noticed that brother Chuck has been spiritually oppressed lately, and that the devil has really robbed him of his joy of the Lord. We are all going to stand in the gap for him right now, and cast any foreign spirit out of him.".
The young men, all somewhat smug and honored to be identified as having "discernment", laid their hands on Chuck's shoulders and began to pray, some in tongues, others, softly in English.
Chuck brushed their hands aside. "No. I just wanted to talk to you about something. In private."
"No, We have to do this in public. God brings all things to light."
With that, the pastor began praying louding, periodically grabbing Chuck's head with both hands, "binding" individual spirits and demons by name.
Chuck took a couple of steps backwards and started brushing off the hands that were on his shoulders and back.
"It's just those demons in you that are making you rebellious and keeping you from submitting right now...don't give in to them"
Chuck blurted out "This is ridiculous. I don't have any demons. And it is exactly this type of incident I wanted to talk to you privately about!"
The Pastor just kept praying louder, and encouraging all the young men to keep their hands on Chuck.
I knew there was something very wrong with this picture. Chuck had an honest concern, one which was constructive and meant to help the pastor be more effective.
What he got was a public smearing as being factious, rebellious, and demonically oppressed. He worked his way out of the crowd, gathered up his family and left, never to return. Having made a number of tremendous sacrifices in time, resources and money to get the church started, they were crushed.
For me the event was a turning point in my walk with God. Even though Chuck was a friend of mine, and I was in full agreement with his concerns, when in the context of having a strong, charismatic leader telling me that that God revealed to him that the real problem was Chuck's rebelliousness, I was complicit with the pastor's assessement. I never came to Chuck's defense, fearing that I would being labelled with the same prognosis.
The fact that the Pastor had ten other "yes" men on hand too was a factor. The social dynamic to be in the majority of the "spiritually mature" people exerted a heavy pressure to go along with the Pastor's abusive patterns. In short, I had become an active participant in the abusive pattern of the church.
Later that day, my wife asked me why I assisted in the public flaying of Chuck. At the time, I couldn't really provide and answer. The event caused a very heated and emotional church split. The Pastor abruptly left, and moved, leaving no forwarding address. I took over the church, and after making the necessary apologies and amends, shut it down. So ended just one of the tens of thousands of spiritually abusive congregations in the United States.